My Father's Fight!!!

Two and a half years ago, my husband knocked on the door of a man who was a complete stranger to him. The man came to the door, let Jake in and allowed him to make the demand, "You need to get to know her again...you've got a grandchild that you haven't even met yet". That one knock on the door, that one conversation changed my relationship with my father forever! The next day I got a phone call and it was my dad, attempting to reconnect with his 5th child, me, after five years of no contact!

We've had a lot of heart to hearts since then and we've really gotten to know one another again and it was nice to have my father back in my life! At the time, 2 1/2 years ago, I thought it was nice having my father around again and it was great that would get to know my children. I thought it was just that simple. But knowing what I know now, I see that the Lord knows all things and that God's plan is perfect. I was put in my father's life 2 1/2 years ago, not just to reconnect with him, but to be able to comfort him and be there for him when he needed me most; during the biggest fight of his life as he battled tongue cancer.

In April of 2008, he met one of his grandchildren for the first time. This is my dad, Brent Frandsen with my little girl when she was 18 months old.
We had five good months together before he was diagnosed. Five months with no talk of cancer! It was great; great to just talk; great to hang out with no worries of death or painful tumors. Then is September of 2008, my dad got the news that changed his life; he was diagnosed with tongue cancer. He endured a painful 15 hour surgery where they cut his jaw in half then cut out almost half of his tongue and made a new one constructed of tissues from his arm. It took a lot of work to relearn how to talk and eat again. But he did! My dad has always been a physically strong man and this event was no exception. For 13 months he was cancer free.

My dad has struggled his whole life with his activity in the church. But when he reconnected with me, he spoke of how he wanted to get his life together and get back into the church. He also wanted to reconnect with his seven children. In June 2009, after 18 years of inactivity, I had the amazing experience of going through the temple with my father. It felt so good to be by his side and to know that I was able to be the example to my father. Being in the Celestial room with him was a feeling that I will never forget. I was so proud of my father that day!!!

My father was in remission for about 13 months. He could talk pretty well by this time but it still took him about an hour to eat one single hamburger. What a long and horrible recovery this was. Then we got the news in January 2010 that his cancer was back for the second time! He opted to do the whole surgery again where they take tissues from other parts of his body to form a new tongue. He also had to undergo radiation and chemotherapy treatments. This is one of the most painful surgeries I have ever seen and for him to make the decision to endure that again showed me how much he wanted to live to be able to be with his children and grandchildren for longer than this cancer wanted him to.

One on the worst times in his life was also the best. Before his second surgery, for the first time ever, all seven of his kids were together in one room all in support of our father and the surgery he was about to undergo! It was a fun night of talking, laughing and getting to know one another! What a joyous occasion amidst such sadness. Yet again, he endured another 14+ surgery and came out the other end alive. We were all there in support of dad and I knew that he felt our love!

This recovery was a million times worse than his previous one. He was a patient at Huntsman for a few months then admitted to a care center for a few months after that. He was declared in remission for only a month or so before we got the worst news ever last week...his cancer was back for the third time and there was nothing further the doctors could do to save him. He was only given a few weeks to a few months to live.

I drove down to Price, UT to be with him for a couple days and I have to say I am deeply saddened by this whole thing. I know that our Heavenly Father has a plan for each of us and I know that my father's mission here on earth may be coming to an end very soon. But these past few years, I couldn't be more proud of the man and the father that he has become.

Here he is with his newest little grand baby, Nathaniel!

When I asked him how he felt about his time left he said,

"I feel I only have a couple months left. I just wish I had more time with my children and grandchildren!"

It was so strange holding my newborn baby in one arm and comforting my father in the other. Total opposite ends of the spectrum; the beginning and the end. He was just diagnosed with pneumonia but after seeing him on this visit earlier this week, I truly think he's going to pull through this. He is such a strong man and such a fighter. He never ceases to amaze me in his battle against this cancer. Anything is possible!

Here's dad and Lydia laughing together over a singing monkey. It was so precious to watch. What an amazing grandfather my dad has turned out to be! Since I was little I remember him always swinging his finger back and forth when he heard music or sang a song. He's still doing it as you can see in the picture!

My dad always did say that he would rather have a good quality of life versus a good quantity of life. If the Lord sees fit to have his journey end on this earth then I will accept it and take comfort in knowing that the Lord has a plan for each of us and I know I can be with my father on the other side for all eternity!

Here's dad giving loves to Lydia.

Dad,

You are a good father, a good person.

You are a wonderful grandfather.

You have seven children who love and care for you.

I couldn't be more proud of you than I am right now.

I'm proud of your decision to come back into the church.

I'm proud of you for becoming

the type of father I've always wanted.

You amaze me every day with your strength and determination to beat this cancer.
Be proud of the man that you have become.

Be proud of what you've accomplished

these past three years.

What an example you are to me of how

it's never to late to change;

never too late to change who you are

and what you want to become.

It's never too late to change your life for the better

no matter what your age,

no matter what has happened in your past.

I'm glad we've had these past three years together

to learn to love one another again, to enjoy eachother's company

and to gain the relationship that I've always wanted to have with you!

I love you dad! Always have, Always will!

Love Always and Forever,

Your daughter,

Erin